Aronofsky Eyes ‘Robocop’ Remake

9 07 2008

Generally, I hate remakes. Mostly because the movies that get remade are the ones that are already good to begin with. If it ain’t broken, don’t fix it. Remake the shitty movies. Anyway, a Robocop remake is in the works and, according to SlashFilm, it’s going to be in 3-D and rated PG-13 (two signs for a sure-fire suckfest). The original Robocop was rated R, and that was after it had been recut to avoid an X rating (nowadays, known as NC-17). It wasn’t a movie to take your kid to on the weekend. Robocop was hardcore. Now, it’s going to be made more “family friendly” and will receive the 3-D treatment. Fantastic.

The only plus I can see for this movie is that Darren Aronofsky is rumored to be directing it. I love Darren Aronofsky, but I’m starting to wonder what’s happening to him. Pi and Requiem were brilliant and The Wrestler and The Fighter are generating a lot of positive buzz, but I can’t see this man directing a watered-down remake of Robocop.¬†Aronofsky is not a sure thing just yet. It’s all rumors at this point, so there’s still hope.

Personally, I’d rather see Michael Bay do it. If the ship’s going down, I’d rather Michael Bay be at the helm.


Michael Bay’s Rejected ‘Dark Knight’ Script

8 07 2008

If there’s one thing I associate with America, it’s gotta be Batman. Screw apple pie (and Captain America). Just the thought of Batman on the roof of some Gotham City sky scraper with the American flag waving behind him brings a tear to my eye. So, apparently, hack-director Michael Bay ‘wrote’ pages for a Dark Knight script that was ‘ultimately rejected by Warner Bros.’ Now, these pages are completely fake, as you probably would’ve guessed after reading the title page: ‘Michael Bay Presents, In association with Michael Bay Productions, and Michael Bay, Director: Michael Bay’s The Dark Knight by Michael Bay, Featuring Dialogue Scripted by Michael Bay,’ but if you hate Michael Bay as much as I do, you’ll love this. If you love Michael Bay, you’ll probably still love it. Actually, if you love Michael Bay, you may not even want to read this blog. Sorry.

You can check out the hilarious script pages at The Spill.